Gymnasium is the last place you would want to see your crush walking in.

Especially if you are a beginner, your weight lifts barely reach 10 kilograms in any given exercise, and you seem like the thinnest person in the room. If you ever notice a guy in the gym who seems to be a regular, does the set as if he is going to shit his pants, and still manages to gain no muscles at all, then congratulations, you have seen me.

I wasn’t always this thin, but puberty hit me late, and when it hit, all of a sudden, my height increased by a few feet. If you ever played with clay, you will know that if you try to stretch it vertically, it gets thinner horizontally. I am that clay.

It couldn’t have gotten any worse when I saw my crush from school days walking into the gym.

She was my senior in school, but she never ever called me Bhai, while every other friend of mine was her sworn brother. We didn’t talk much, but our eyes always met during assembly time, lunch breaks, and school programs or events. And whenever they did, I felt as if there was some kind of unspoken connection between us. At least, I wanted to believe that.

I didn’t get any opportunity to talk to her until God himself decided to help me out. We both got selected to represent our school in an inter-school quiz competition, and we were given a separate hall to prepare. But we spent more time gossiping, about the teachers we hated most, secret affairs between two suspicious teachers (one of whom was married), a love triangle involving two senior boys from her class and a junior girl from mine, and so on.

I got to know about her family, friends, favorite foods, films, songs, and more, and I shared my own stories in return.Those were the days I couldn’t wait to go to school and stay there as long as possible. I didn’t want the competition to end. I thought I could live like that forever. But once it was over, we were back to our regular eye contact and occasional waves.

Every morning before coming to school, I practiced talking to her, saying something to her, because that was the problem: I didn’t have anything new to talk about.

I was done repeating the same sentence: “Hey, do you remember that quiz competition where we came second… by only two points?”

I used to look at myself in the mirror, smile as charmingly as I could, and say, “Hey, Sneha, it’s a wonderful day, isn’t it?” I remembered the guys in class talking about how girls prefer bad boys with a cool attitude over nice, polite ones. I immediately tried a new approach: “Hey, Miss Bhattarai, what’s with all the attitude, huh? Uhmm… hmmm… it’s a wonderful day, isn’t it?”

I could never talk to her until farewell day. She was leaving, and my heart had never felt so heavy. When I finally managed to be alone with her in the school corridor, I blurted out, “I love you.” Her eyes widened as if she had just heard, “I am an alien in a human body.” She walked away without a single word and didn’t look at me for the rest of the program.

That was our last interaction eight years ago, until now.

As she entered the gym, she seemed confused, while every other head in the room turned toward her in the hope of being her savior in this new world. I was the only one who wanted to hide my face, but the gym is the last place you can play hide and seek. Every part of the walls is covered with mirrors, and even the glass windows show reflections once it got dark outside.

I could not hide, and our eyes met. She waved at me along with a smile. I stood frozen for a while and immediately looked the other way, as if I didn’t see her. What on earth am I doing?

I glanced from the corner of my eye, and she was gone with the trainer. That’s it. I need to pack up my bag and leave the country as quickly as possible. I’ll come to the gym in the mornings from tomorrow.

I ran to my locker and grabbed my bag. I pulled the door of the changing room, but it was occupied. I pulled another one, and it was occupied too. Out of all times. I decided to change my clothes in the restroom. 

I rushed through the door, and out of all people, I met the creepiest, most obnoxious, and irritating guy in the gym; Yunik Shrestha. He was at the sink washing his hands, and he saw me in the reflection.
“What’s up, man?”
“Nothing. I’m just in a hurry,” I replied.
He turned around. “Hey, did you see the new girl? She’s got this slender body with such nice boobs. And she’s pretty too. I was wrong about only ugly girls coming to the gym. She’s the whole package. I can already imagine bangin — ”
I snapped. “Hey, I know her.”
He paused. “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Is she your sister?”
“No,” it came out loud. “She is… she is my friend.”
He smirked and teasingly asked, “What kind of friend?”
“Mind your own business, will you?”
He apologized. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“It’s okay,” I tried changing the topic. “So, what are you doing today?”
He replied, “I don’t know. Let me guess, maybe I’ll do her tonight.” He laughed out loud and ran out the door.
I wanted to smash that guy’s head into the mirror, cut out his tongue, and twist his weiner.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I cannot go. I cannot leave her with these creepy guys. I will not be able to sleep at night, imagining them gawking at her while she does her squats.

I got out of the restroom and put my bag back in my locker. I could see Yunik blocking her way with his hand, deliberately flexing his forearms, veins clearly visible. That bastard. His eyes shifted to me. She turned back, and our eyes met. I smiled at her, but this time she avoided me and looked back at him. 
They are talking about me. What is he saying?

I walked toward them. Everything was pulling me back, but the thought of Yunik together with her kept me moving forward. 
I stood behind her.
“Oh look, he is here,” Yunik said to her, and she turned to me.
 “She told me you were her junior in school. So you really are her brother.” He teased me. 
I gave him a long glare. He chuckled and walked away. “See you, Sneha.”

I looked at her and gathered all my courage to say, “Hey”.
She replied, “Hi.”
Oh… I had missed hearing her voice so much. What should I say next? What is the best thing to say? 
“It’s a wonderful day, isn’t it?” 
Did I really just say that? I looked at myself in the mirror. You are the weirdest person alive.
She furrowed her brows. “Almost night, I guess.”
“Yeah… yes… yes.” I went quiet after that. It’s better not to say anything than to speak stupid things. 
Not really. 
An awkwardness filled the atmosphere between us.
“It’s been so long since I last saw you,” she said.
“Yes…” I paused. I could have said that. “Last time it was in the school corridor, and… uhmm… I said something I shouldn’t have. I don’t think you remember, though.”
“I do remember. I remember blushing so much I couldn’t say a single word to you. I’m sorry if I made you feel bad that day. I didn’t mean to. I was too shy to say anything.”

 My face must be glowing right now. I looked in the mirror.

Not really.

But I had a long, grinning smile that I couldn’t shake off. I wanted her to repeat what she had just said. Wow, my heart has never felt so light. Oh crap, I need to say something.

“Yeah, I felt bad. You were leaving, and I just couldn’t control my feelings. I remember I couldn’t sleep that night. I didn’t eat anything. After you left, the school got so quiet and boring. I didn’t feel like attending classes anymore. I kind of hoped you’d fail the exams so you could repeat the year with me.”

“What?” she exclaimed.

Too much, too fast. I quickly tried to cover it up. “I didn’t mean it that way. I was just… joking. Really, I was just joking.” 
She laughed. Seeing her laugh, I laughed too.

“How long has it been since you joined the gym?” she asked.
Suddenly, I felt myself widening my chest, tightening my muscles, and trying to look broader.
“It’s been three months now,” I replied in a deeper voice.

“Wow. That’s great,” she paused. “You look different.”
“Really?” I got exhilarated.
“Yeah. You got taller than the last time I saw you.”
All the pumped-up air in my chest vanished. “Oh. Yes. I grew a few feet taller.”

“So, do you come here around this time?” she asked.
“Yeah. Every day. I’m regular. A true gym freak,” I said proudly.
“I guess we can come together. I only know you and no one else, so it would be easy for me if I have a friend,” she said, hiding her desperation well.

“Yeah… yes… yeah… yes… sure. Why not? I’d be so happy, It’ll be great.” I couldn’t control my desperation, though.

“So…?” She raised her eyebrows.

I imitated her, “So…?”

“Can I have your number?” she asked.

I SHOULD HAVE ASKED FOR THE NUMBER. SHE MUST BE FEELING CLINGY AND DESPERATE. WHAT AM I DOING?

“Yes, sure,” I replied calmly, though it almost sounded reluctant. 
We exchanged our numbers.
“See you,” she smiled and went to the trainer.
As I watched her go, I realized she hadn’t changed much, except that her breasts were slightly bigger and her hips a little wider. 
 She was as beautiful as she had been during our school days.

I waited for her to finish her exercises for that day and walked home with her. The sun had already set, and we relied on streetlights to light our way.

“You know… I never got that reply,” I said, my voice a little nervous, a shy grin tugging at my lips.
I felt her shift slightly, and I could tell she was blushing. “Maybe… one day, you will get it,” she said softly.
I felt my own cheeks burn. My heart fluttered, and for a moment, all I could do was smile, almost too shy to speak.

I dropped her off and headed home, which was in the complete opposite direction. I ran all the way back, silently chanting the Hanuman Chalisa, as if some furious chudel was chasing me, swinging her backward legs wildly to catch me.

I slept peacefully that night, believing God existed and was writing a beautiful love story for me. And, this was only the beginning.